In three weeks I will be heading to the Allume conference with my friend, Amy! I am very excited about going and learning as much as I can about the blogging world. I’m praying I will be able to really enjoy my time and not worry about everything else taking place in the next month.
I’m on a count down: Five weeks from today I will have completed my first marathon! I am running the Savannah Rock and Roll marathon and my parents are running the half marathon. I love that I will not be running this race alone. I have a lot of running friends from Charlotte that will be running it with me! Yes, we are all different paces but it will be wonderful to have them there.
In the midst of those things I am taking a college level course through the organization I work for. It is called Beyond Suffering: A Christian View on Disability Ministry. I am really enjoying the class and am learning so much more than I expected. It is tough and challenging and I now want to go back to school to finish my degree. 🙂
To be honest this is the first time I’ve had a moment to blog in several weeks. I’m a little bit overwhelmed with all that is taking place. My friend, Amy, joked with me earlier about reading something in my spare time. We both laughed because I don’t have much spare time to do any extra reading. Oh how I wish I did! My email has been neglected and will be neglected (unless it is urgent) for at least another few days. I’m hoping to be caught up on that this week.
All that to say… I have a lot going on and I am grateful for all these wonderful opportunities!
Years ago, I had the opportunity to write for the paper at my junior high school. I failed. Miserably. I was to interview some coach about their team. Instead fear and shyness took over. I may have asked two or three not well thought out questions and never turned in the article. I chose to write for myself from that day on. I rarely let people see the stuff pouring out of my heart onto paper. The failure and fear stayed with me for years. Hanging on like a wet piece of clothing, I desperately wanted to rip off.
It wasn’t until this week, that I fully understood how God redeemed that moment from junior high for me. A few weeks ago I agreed to interview Rebekah Snyder about her new book “Beyond Waiting”. We had emailed back and forth about the interview and agreed that I would come up with questions she would answer. UH OH! I felt the familiar fear and failure creep back up. I knew I needed to do this. It was that important to me.
The little shy, fearful girl needed to overcome and redeem something that was stolen all those years ago. I pushed the fear aside because of prayer. I prayed for a while about what questions I could ask Rebekah that would reflect her heart on why she wrote “Beyond Waiting“. What came out surprised me. I knew it was the Lord that gave me the questions to ask. I asked my mom if she read the post and her first question was “Did you come up with those questions?” and I replied “Yes, and I am proud to say that I came up with them but it was all God!”. God knew that I needed this moment in my life. To take back a time when fear and failure tried so desperately to destroy…my love of writing and asking thoughtful, get to the heart of the matter questions. I’ve always had a love of writing and it is probably why I read so much. I want to continually learn to be a better writer, expressing my thoughts and sometimes opinions in a way that others can relate to what I am communicating.
Slowly I started letting others read what was pouring onto paper but I was definitely selective and still very insecure about what I was writing. I was looking for a lot of affirmation and encouragement. I received all of that but not until this year did I realize how God has been redeeming that time in my life. I’m thankful for the ones that have encouraged me along the way.
Blogging is such a tricky thing. There are rules to go by and I am sure I have broken every single one of those rules. 🙂 I started writing this blog for the sole purpose to get my thoughts on to “paper”. I shared my blog with a small group of people at first. I really had no idea where this blog would go, I still don’t know where it is going. But I do know the readership has grown and the level of responsibility I feel has grown as well. I do know that the Lord is giving me the words to write on days when I feel there is nothing to say.
So here is to redemption of something that I love and cherish deeply!
Is there a dream you have had crushed only to see the Lord redeem it in a way you never thought would happen?